Promise.
Please promise me nothing, if you are not able to hold onto it.
Please, promise me nothing, if you are going to disappoint me.
Promise me nothing, if those promises are meant to be broken.
Please, I beg you.
No, it's not because I don't trust you.
I just can't bear the feeling of disappointment in the end.
Yeah, call me weak.
The blame is on me, since I expected too high on you.
Let's not make any promises,
so we don't have to suffer any trust issue.
You don't have to trust me, and so do I.
Since no promises we would make.
Sunday, 6 May 2018
A Set of Stationery
I thank God for your presence in my life.
You bring additional plots on the story I have been working on since I was born.
I hope it gets prettier each day as your presence in my life.
Thank you for being present.
Thank you for being a present, too.
You are here,
not only as a new variable, but as my correction pen and highlighter. Yeah, --
You make my life becomes more memorable and stand out
and help me to relieve my pain and sorrow in life.
It's nice to have a complete stationery set while working on something serious, --
and that shows how much you mean to me.
We are a set of complete stationery,
and you know how much I am obsessed to it.
You bring additional plots on the story I have been working on since I was born.
I hope it gets prettier each day as your presence in my life.
Thank you for being present.
Thank you for being a present, too.
You are here,
not only as a new variable, but as my correction pen and highlighter. Yeah, --
You make my life becomes more memorable and stand out
and help me to relieve my pain and sorrow in life.
It's nice to have a complete stationery set while working on something serious, --
and that shows how much you mean to me.
We are a set of complete stationery,
and you know how much I am obsessed to it.
Tuesday, 1 May 2018
Loneliness
Lonely.
Alone.
What is the difference?
Well, for me:
Being alone is a choice.
Being lonely is part of insecurity.
Alone,
Sometimes we need to be alone to reflect something.
To reflect what we have been through, and what we will do next.
Sometimes, we call it, 'me time'.
It is a time when you can enjoy yourself being you,
doing what we would like to do,
enjoying and relaxing ourselves -- after a long day.
Lonely,
It is just our feelings.
Too complex to explain -- because not everyone will understand.
But sure, they have been through it.
Too ambiguous to be perceived -- everyone experienced it differently.
But sure, they have ever been through it.
Too uncertain -- no one could predict when it will come.
But sure, there is a day when you just feel it.
Yeah, the feeling is too volatile.
But sure, it does not feel right.
It happens when you are surrounded by lots of people,
yet feeling so uncomfortable.
It happens just like that, giving a pair of ears to listen,
but none to listen to yours.
It happens that way, giving a heart to worry about,
but none cares about you.
It happens unconsciously, a pair of shoulders to lean on,
arms to warm others, teardrops falling.
It is just like that.
Yet, no one understood.
No one speaks up to just simply asked about your bad day.
No one pats on your shoulder, simply said that
you're going to be okay because they will be there for you.
None. No one. Nobody.
For those people out there,
fill your time with something else rather than feeling lonely.
You'll be alright, you'll be okay. Trust me.
I have been through those times, and I am still alright.
Everything is going to be alright, darling.
You are a great people, you feel lonely because you don't want to bother them.
You are a good person. It happens simply because you don't want to disturb them.
You are great. You are good. You are doing well. Nothing is wrong with that.
Chin up, head up, and smile, baby!
Alone.
What is the difference?
Well, for me:
Being alone is a choice.
Being lonely is part of insecurity.
Alone,
Sometimes we need to be alone to reflect something.
To reflect what we have been through, and what we will do next.
Sometimes, we call it, 'me time'.
It is a time when you can enjoy yourself being you,
doing what we would like to do,
enjoying and relaxing ourselves -- after a long day.
Lonely,
It is just our feelings.
Too complex to explain -- because not everyone will understand.
But sure, they have been through it.
Too ambiguous to be perceived -- everyone experienced it differently.
But sure, they have ever been through it.
Too uncertain -- no one could predict when it will come.
But sure, there is a day when you just feel it.
Yeah, the feeling is too volatile.
But sure, it does not feel right.
It happens when you are surrounded by lots of people,
yet feeling so uncomfortable.
It happens just like that, giving a pair of ears to listen,
but none to listen to yours.
It happens that way, giving a heart to worry about,
but none cares about you.
It happens unconsciously, a pair of shoulders to lean on,
arms to warm others, teardrops falling.
It is just like that.
Yet, no one understood.
No one speaks up to just simply asked about your bad day.
No one pats on your shoulder, simply said that
you're going to be okay because they will be there for you.
None. No one. Nobody.
For those people out there,
fill your time with something else rather than feeling lonely.
You'll be alright, you'll be okay. Trust me.
I have been through those times, and I am still alright.
Everything is going to be alright, darling.
You are a great people, you feel lonely because you don't want to bother them.
You are a good person. It happens simply because you don't want to disturb them.
You are great. You are good. You are doing well. Nothing is wrong with that.
Chin up, head up, and smile, baby!
Tuesday, 24 April 2018
Pertemuan
Pertemuan,
Indah katanya, untuk dilihat.
Perih untuk dijalani.
Pertemuan, menyatukan katanya.
Beberapa insan dipersatukan.
Tapi berapa lama?
Karena sejak saat itu hubungan yang dijaga diujikan.
Pertemuan, awal yang baru katanya.
Awal dari perpisahan, sepertinya.
Berpisah dari yang lampau.
Dipertemukan dengan yang kini.
Pertemuan, apalah artinya?
Apabila insan yang dipertemukan tidak mampu menjaga.
Apabila memori yang terbentuk tidak dikenang.
Apabila dapat digantikan dengan mudahnya.
Pertemuan, adakah maknanya?
Jika pada akhirnya akan berpisah.
Jika pada akhirnya memori hanya tinggal cerita.
Jika pada akhirnya, hanya nama tersisa.
Pertemuan, kemanakah kamu akan membawaku?
Layaknya sekoci diatas lautan.
Aku terombang-ambing tanpa arah.
Dilanda ombak ketakutan akan perpisahan.
Indah katanya, untuk dilihat.
Perih untuk dijalani.
Pertemuan, menyatukan katanya.
Beberapa insan dipersatukan.
Tapi berapa lama?
Karena sejak saat itu hubungan yang dijaga diujikan.
Pertemuan, awal yang baru katanya.
Awal dari perpisahan, sepertinya.
Berpisah dari yang lampau.
Dipertemukan dengan yang kini.
Pertemuan, apalah artinya?
Apabila insan yang dipertemukan tidak mampu menjaga.
Apabila memori yang terbentuk tidak dikenang.
Apabila dapat digantikan dengan mudahnya.
Pertemuan, adakah maknanya?
Jika pada akhirnya akan berpisah.
Jika pada akhirnya memori hanya tinggal cerita.
Jika pada akhirnya, hanya nama tersisa.
Pertemuan, kemanakah kamu akan membawaku?
Layaknya sekoci diatas lautan.
Aku terombang-ambing tanpa arah.
Dilanda ombak ketakutan akan perpisahan.
Sunday, 22 April 2018
Bandara Punya Cerita
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Dia yang pertemukan kita.
Dia juga yang ucapkan selamat tinggal.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Dia yang datangkan senyum dan tawa.
Dia juga yang teteskan air mata.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Dia yang jadi saksi perjumpaan.
Dia juga yang jadi saksi perpisahaan.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Kepergian nan jauh hanya dia yang saksikan.
Kepulangan setelah sekian lama pun dia yang sambut.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Cerita tentang kita.
Yang mungkin kita lupakan.
Tapi bandara tahu.
Dia yang pertemukan kita.
Dia juga yang ucapkan selamat tinggal.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Dia yang datangkan senyum dan tawa.
Dia juga yang teteskan air mata.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Dia yang jadi saksi perjumpaan.
Dia juga yang jadi saksi perpisahaan.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Kepergian nan jauh hanya dia yang saksikan.
Kepulangan setelah sekian lama pun dia yang sambut.
Bandara selalu punya cerita.
Cerita tentang kita.
Yang mungkin kita lupakan.
Tapi bandara tahu.
Friday, 6 April 2018
Small Reunions, Huge Memories.
Meeting old friends will always be the nicest thing in the world that you could ever ask for. Living apart for years from them, and finally meet them again in a occasion. You will have a lot of stories to shares with them, and vice versa. You might see them change, either for a good reason or not. You might see them become a different person, you might be impressed, or worst case, - you might even be disappointed.
Have a simple reunion to meet them again and listen to their stories have been there in my checklist since 2017. Especially when I am admitted to go to the Netherlands to pursue my further education there, ticking my checklist is one of my priority. Visit Medan to meet my primary school friends, visiting Jakarta to meet my Junior High and Senior High friends, spend more time in Surabaya with my Senior High and college friends, and of course, with family.
I have been living apart from my primary friends for twelve years. I barely meet them, almost never, and only get the chance to meet few of them. Honestly, I started to forget some of them, those I rarely see on social medias, and those I barely contact with. Living apart for thousands kilometers away are hard enough for me, who dreamed to go back soon every year. But then, last year, in 2017, I got the chance to go back, but I did not get the chance to meet them. Fortunately, this year, in 2018, I got the chance twice. Happily I could get the chance to have that simple yet memorable reunion. Silly, funny, tiring, but then I still feel like it was not enough, I need more time for that. I miss their stories, their laughter, and many others that I missed when I left back then in 2006. Here are some pictures of us.
Not only primary school friends, but also my Boys' Brigade friend, in which is also my "sister" and also "grandma" since we called her Ama (Hokkien term form Grandma) because of her hospitality, maturity, and kindness. I was so glad that I got the chance to meet her, since I have moved to Surabaya, she never visits me *hiks*
My journey did not stop there. Before I got the chance to visit Medan in March, I got the chance to visit my friends in Jakarta. Lots are coming, lots of stories, and lots of silliness we made.
I guessed it is unfair to just tell stories about me visiting old friends. So here it is, the miraculous Derrin visiting me far from Aceh right before 2017 ends, which really made my day!
Life has been so great these days for me, because I got the chances to tick my checklists one by one right before I go anywhere further and continue this unbelievable long distance relationships with my friends. Right after this, there will be more and more places and friends that I need to visit and have a small reunions, small talks, with crazy laughter and silliness. I hope this friendship could last long and can be cherished each and every moments.
Next destinations: Singapore! Guess who I will meet! :b Can't wait!! >.<
PS: for those who I have not be able to visit yet, I apologize for that, I hope one day I'll get the chance and I hope you'll try to visit me either!
Have a simple reunion to meet them again and listen to their stories have been there in my checklist since 2017. Especially when I am admitted to go to the Netherlands to pursue my further education there, ticking my checklist is one of my priority. Visit Medan to meet my primary school friends, visiting Jakarta to meet my Junior High and Senior High friends, spend more time in Surabaya with my Senior High and college friends, and of course, with family.
I have been living apart from my primary friends for twelve years. I barely meet them, almost never, and only get the chance to meet few of them. Honestly, I started to forget some of them, those I rarely see on social medias, and those I barely contact with. Living apart for thousands kilometers away are hard enough for me, who dreamed to go back soon every year. But then, last year, in 2017, I got the chance to go back, but I did not get the chance to meet them. Fortunately, this year, in 2018, I got the chance twice. Happily I could get the chance to have that simple yet memorable reunion. Silly, funny, tiring, but then I still feel like it was not enough, I need more time for that. I miss their stories, their laughter, and many others that I missed when I left back then in 2006. Here are some pictures of us.
 |
| SD Sutomo 1 Angkatan 47 Friday, 16 March 2018. Medan, North Sumatera, Indonesia. |
 |
| Left to Right: Steven - Annie - William - Me - Tommy These are friends who sent me back to airport before I went back to Surabaya. Sunday, April 1st, 2018. |
 |
| Left to Right: Tommy - Me - Lucinda - Christy The survivors of the heavy rain on March 30th, 2018. |
Not only primary school friends, but also my Boys' Brigade friend, in which is also my "sister" and also "grandma" since we called her Ama (Hokkien term form Grandma) because of her hospitality, maturity, and kindness. I was so glad that I got the chance to meet her, since I have moved to Surabaya, she never visits me *hiks*
 |
| Portrait of me and Jennifer Wu. Friday, March 16th, 2018. |
My journey did not stop there. Before I got the chance to visit Medan in March, I got the chance to visit my friends in Jakarta. Lots are coming, lots of stories, and lots of silliness we made.
 |
| My little sister, Gabriella, known as Ayam. |
 |
| My juniors. |
 |
| My seniors. |
 |
| Monica Puspita. My closest friend. |
 |
| SMP-SMA Candle Tree School Batch 6. January, 2018. South Tangerang, Indonesia. |
I guessed it is unfair to just tell stories about me visiting old friends. So here it is, the miraculous Derrin visiting me far from Aceh right before 2017 ends, which really made my day!
 |
| Derrin Tay and Me. December 31st, 2017. Surabaya, East Java, Indonesia. |
Next destinations: Singapore! Guess who I will meet! :b Can't wait!! >.<
PS: for those who I have not be able to visit yet, I apologize for that, I hope one day I'll get the chance and I hope you'll try to visit me either!
Sunday, 15 October 2017
好久不见。
好久不见！
Yes, it has been a long long time after my last post. So, here I am again after my exam weeks, full college time, and many preparations ahead. But, so what? Everyone needs a break, and so do I.
I have been taking a break for two days, yeah. I spoke less to people, did less conversation, spending my time alone (or with family). I don't know what mood I was on and I am on. But I'm back to my favourite journal, this blog!
Who cares what people have been thinking of you since the day you've gone?
Some people are left with memories.
But some people forget you like a dust.
There is also some people who replace your positions and succeed.
But some failed.
I bumped into an old song, titled "小幸运". It comes from a movie titled, "我的少女時代".
This song is freakingly related to me, how it took away my heart the first time I listened to it and I kept on listening to this song for months, and still not get bored.
I felt how hard it is to see someone you love, someone you care, or you once loved and you once cared to be far away from you. When technology was not as advanced as nowadays, how could you even reached them? Be grateful if you never be separated from the ones you love and care! Be grateful if you have separated and you live in the world of technology since you were young! At least you are way luckier than me!
Life is not that easy to go on when you do not know precisely, exactly, what is going on them. You felt the worries, you tried to find out, but what you got is nil - nothing.
Then after years, you finally forgot about them. (By 'years' I meant, at least a decade? Haha!)
Then you started to remember and to be reminded of them, of the pretty memories you used to spend with them.
It feels great when you could bump into them again. But the left over memories after they left you come back to you and, again, they make your life even tougher.
And maybe it's your time to take a break, reflecting on your memories, and reflecting on your present time.
Because we couldn't buy time or even use money to create memories.
If you messed up with your past time and created past memories, don't let yourself ruin your future memories you're going to remember. Don't regret the same thing for more than once.
”有时候，回忆可能很好想的。可是，回忆是回忆。无论多少我们想的，我们不能时光倒流。“
Yes, it has been a long long time after my last post. So, here I am again after my exam weeks, full college time, and many preparations ahead. But, so what? Everyone needs a break, and so do I.
I have been taking a break for two days, yeah. I spoke less to people, did less conversation, spending my time alone (or with family). I don't know what mood I was on and I am on. But I'm back to my favourite journal, this blog!
Who cares what people have been thinking of you since the day you've gone?
Some people are left with memories.
But some people forget you like a dust.
There is also some people who replace your positions and succeed.
But some failed.
I bumped into an old song, titled "小幸运". It comes from a movie titled, "我的少女時代".
This song is freakingly related to me, how it took away my heart the first time I listened to it and I kept on listening to this song for months, and still not get bored.
I felt how hard it is to see someone you love, someone you care, or you once loved and you once cared to be far away from you. When technology was not as advanced as nowadays, how could you even reached them? Be grateful if you never be separated from the ones you love and care! Be grateful if you have separated and you live in the world of technology since you were young! At least you are way luckier than me!
Life is not that easy to go on when you do not know precisely, exactly, what is going on them. You felt the worries, you tried to find out, but what you got is nil - nothing.
Then after years, you finally forgot about them. (By 'years' I meant, at least a decade? Haha!)
Then you started to remember and to be reminded of them, of the pretty memories you used to spend with them.
It feels great when you could bump into them again. But the left over memories after they left you come back to you and, again, they make your life even tougher.
And maybe it's your time to take a break, reflecting on your memories, and reflecting on your present time.
Because we couldn't buy time or even use money to create memories.
If you messed up with your past time and created past memories, don't let yourself ruin your future memories you're going to remember. Don't regret the same thing for more than once.
”有时候，回忆可能很好想的。可是，回忆是回忆。无论多少我们想的，我们不能时光倒流。“
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