Many things happen in my life in these few months. From the toughest to the happiest, from the saddest to the better one. Sometimes friends are placed in our life for many reasons, for many causes, and it can be proven. Not everything can be explained. Many indescribable feelings that need to be told but no words are exactly described mine.
For these couple months, I realized that many cases happened in order to teach me something, in order to make be understand what life is, and out of my thoughts. Either my school life, my daily life, and many more were changed.
I used to go anywhere with someone accompanied me when I was in my old school. I used to eat my mom's cooks after school and as my school meals. I used to bother my sister and my brother when I got bored. I used to get angry when I was disturbed. And in the end, I used to chat play, and bothering one another with my school mates. Every memories mean much for me, especially when distances separate you.
I used to learn something from my seniors. I used to teach my juniors when they needed helps. I used to laugh out loud with all of my friends whoever they are or how old they are. I used to make jokes with my teachers, or even the cleaning service officers, and of course the security. I used to be a ind girl, but now everything has changed. Now I have to accept that I can't socialize well as I want to with my seniors and juniors as I used to do.
Sometimes your feelings just can't describe how much you wanted someone in your life. Sometimes your feelings are just pressured to hide all of those feelings that hurts. Sometimes your feelings make you complicate because your mind can't accept what you are feeling. And that is how I feel right now.
I never said that my new life is worst. I never blame anyone for being in my life. I never regret of losing someone in my life. But I do regret when I didn't enjoy my day with those who actually means much to me. I do regret when I didn't pay attention on someone who cared about me. I do regret when I didn't take time with those who were near me, always be with me. And now I lose everything. Distances make me stronger, yeah..my mind told me that. But deep inside, my feelings said that "No Vi, you are weak. You don't have enough strength to face this, to accept that those who always be beside you had gone now, and you just have the new one and you must adapt with it."
Maybe I am egoist. Maybe I am stupid. or maybe I am just so childish. But I need someone who always be beside me, accompany me wherever I wanna go, and be my side when I am alone and when I need someone to share with. Yeah I just need someone who is able to do that for me, who knows that I am a bit childish that I need someone who could act as a best friend, brother/sister, and yet my silly stupid and idiot friend in the right time. May I have one here? :'
"Sure you can. But you'll find it one day later, not now."
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