Terlalu Lama Aku Pendam

Rasanya kegeramanku ini sudah tak dapat lagi aku tahan. Ingin sekali aku meluapkannya. Tetapi entah pada siapa.
Rasanya luka ini terkelupas lagi. Luka yang sudah hampir aku lupakan ini tergores lagi oleh karenanya. Sakit. Sungguh sakit. Perih rasanya.
Aku coba memulihkannya. Aku coba menyembuhkannya. Tetapi rasanya tak ada yang dapat menyembuhkan luka ini. Sungguh dalam. Sungguh sakit.
Ku rasakan sakitnya sampai ke pori-pori kulit terdalam. Tak lagi di epidermis. Tetapi lebih dalam lagi.
Rasanya sistem imunku ini sudah tak dapat menghancurkan dan membunuh bakteri dan virus yang melukai hatiku.
Terlambat sudah.

Bodoh, aku memang bodoh.
Membiarkan mereka masuk dalam kehidupan kami. Mengapa aku lakukan itu?
Sungguh, aku benar-benar telah merusak semuanya.
Seharusnya sekarang aku masih bersama mereka. Tertawa dan berbagi bersama.
Seharusnya aku masih memiliki kesempatan untuk menghapus semua kesedihan dan air matanya.
Seharusnya aku yang memberikan tissue dan pundakku untuk ia bersandar.
Tetapi keadaan telah berubah.
Bukan karena dia maupun mereka.
Tetapi karena diriku.

Bagaikan gelas yang pecah.
Angin yang bertiup.
Air mengalir.
Begitulah perbuatanku.
Sudah tak dapat ku kembalikan seperti sedia kala.
Kebodohanku ini sungguh tak dapat lagi aku toleransikan.
Kekeliruanku, kecerobohanku.
Tak seharusnya aku memberinya kesempatan untuk bersamamu.
Tak seharusnya aku membiarkan kalian semakin dekat dan berjalan perlahan pergi meninggalkanku
Tak seharusnya aku memberinya celah untuk mengambilmu dariku
Dari sisi dan pelukanku
Dari dekapanku
Dari tanganku

Tangan yang semula kau pegang erat
Tangan yang semula kau pakai tuk hapus pilumu
Tangan yang kau sandari ketika kau butuh sandaran
Tangan yang selalu berusaha ada untukmu
Tangan kini telah engkau campakkan begitu saja

Kemana engkau wahai sahabatku?
Bukankah dulu engkau pernah berjanji untuk selalu bersamaku?
Kemana sudah air mata kesedihanmu?
Yang semula kau pakai untuk menangisi kepergianku
Kemana semua kata-kata manismu untuk tak meninggalkanku?
Yang kau gunakan untuk menghiburku,
Kemana sudah kenangan yang kita miliki?
Apakah hubungan kita kini sudah tak bermakna?
Karena jarak yang memisahkan?
Atau karena intelejensi yang kita miliki tak sama?
Atau karena hobi dan kesenangan kita berbeda?
Sungguh hanya karena itu?
Sungguh miris hubungan ini.
Untuk apa kita membangun hubungan ini selama bertahun-tahun.
Beratus-ratus minggu kita lalui bersama.
Beribu-ribu hari kita jalani bersama.
Berjuta-juta menit penuh tawa dan kesedihan.
Berakhir dengan tahun-tahun kepahitan.
Yang kini hanya tinggal kenangan.
Atau hanya memori belaka?
Yang sudah hampir tak pernah kau ingat lagi.
Atau memang yang sudah terlupakan.

Selamat tinggal wahai kawan lama.
Semoga kalian berbahagia bersama.
Bersatu dalam segala kondisi.
Tak meninggalkan dan melupakan satu dengan yang lain.
Ku doakan yang terbaik untuk kalian.
Aku mengasihimu.


Puisi dan karangan ini dibuat untuk seseorang, hanya seseorang, dan didedikasikan kepada seseorang yang sangat amat ku kasihi dan sudah ku anggap seperti halnya saudaraku sendiri. Aku sadar aku sepatutnya tak semudah itu menyayangi orang itu, seperti dengan mudahnya ia melupakanku. Tetapi aku tak bisa berhenti menyayanginya, bahkan menganggapnya tak ada. Aku mengasihimu kawan. Tak peduli kau membacanya atau tidak. Tak peduli kau mengasihiku atau tidak. 

FREEDOM

Hey guys! It's been a long time for me not to post anything else since I was busy to prepare my National Exams and it had just finished yesterday! You know, since the second I finished the test, I can feel freedom. Yeah I smell freedom! lol

It is great to know I had finished my life in the senior high school, but I'm gonna miss them! What I mean here is not the school or studying, especially the test and tasks. I mean, I'm gonna miss my friends, crazy, silly, annoying, and caring one :') I'm gonna miss them, especially the silly teachers who makes my life at school doesn't feel so flat. 

In three years school, I have been in two different schools, with different teachers and different friends, different place, different experiences, and of course, different memories. Each of them taught me something, I have to be myself. Let me do what I like to do, and let me try what I never do. You know, I feel great to have best friends and close friends in every place I am. And now, I am so pleased that I have some boys and some girls who really know me. It is better than having lots of friends who don't know me and judging me, or stabbed me from the back.

You know, LIFE IS GETTING TOUGHER. 

My life in this third  graders are full with boys, I guessed. I sit surrounded with boys and I  don't get any problem with it. They are very welcome, and they even share things and talk much to me. We sometimes talk too much and laugh too much, until the teachers usually get mad of us, and I'm enjoying that. We laugh because of my silliness, or theirs, But they mostly making jokes with me, because I sometimes don't understand what they are talking and they commonly used slang java, so I don't know it at all. But it is kinda fun. We mostly laugh too loud and feel like the class is ours. We don't care about people's opinions and just ruin the life. This is the most important thing I learned from the boys, just go with our own business and don't care about others. We have our own life, and it is none of our business to go with others'. 

I still remember the last day of school before we have to do the National Exams, it was so fun and for me, it is a cute moment. I was talking with my boyfriend, and his some other friends, But without realizing that, I am the only girl there. I don;t realized it until one of my friends said, "Hey Vi, don't you realized that you are the only girl here, and we, the boys, make a circle with you in the middle of us." and all of us laugh because none of us realized that. It was totally fun!

I will never forget the moment we spend together! Will miss you guys!

My Treasure

The craziest man in the world ft the cutest girl <3

What is the best thing in the world?
What is the most expensive thing in the world?
What is the worthiest thing in the world?
What is the most important thing in the world?
What is the happiest thing in the world?

and

What is the craziest thing in the world?
Who is the weirdest person in the world?
Who is the stupidest person in the world?
Who is the one you really love?
Who is the most annoying person in the world?

best friend

I am glad to have you in this mean world.
To take care of me,
to accompany me,
to make me cry,
to make me laugh,
to make me crazy,
to help me,
and everything.

Glad to know you still remember me;
even though we are apart,
even though I'm not always be with you.

We are busy all the time with our own business,
we have our own job and tasks,
but glad you spend your time for me,
meeting me in the middle of your business,
to make my holiday become more perfect.

Missing best friend is difficult.
Missing best friend is hard.
Meeting best friend is not easy.
Meeting best friend that has been separated is a miracle,
that I will never forget.
I hope one day we will meet again,
promise me you'll spare your time for me again.

"Because real friends know you are far apart and try to reach you." - @ViDarmalimMMy

Tahun Baru, Perjuangan Baru!

Tak terasa hampir satu tahun sudah sejak kepindahanku ke kota baru ini, kota yang baru bagiku. Bahasa baru, pertemanan yang baru, lingkungan yang baru, dan masih banyak lagi. Rasanya aku tidak mampu melewatkan pengalaman-pengalaman baru ini sendirian. Teman-teman baru yang berbeda dan unik, yang setia dan mengasihi, yang selalu membantu dan juga yang agak ngeselin.Aku tidak dapat mendeskripsikannya satu per satu, tetapi secara keseluruhan mereka cukup baik terhadapku. Terlebih lagi teman terdekatku saat ini. Belum lagi kenangan-kenangan indah yang kita lewatkan bersama dengan penuh canda tawa dan juga isak tangis.
Dahulu ku kira kota ini adalah kota dimana aku akan berakhir sungguh menderita dengan penuh ketidaknyamanan, tetapi aku salah. Kota ini mengajarkanku hal-hal baru lagi. Kota ini memberitahukanku sebuah pelajaran berharga kembali. Dan kota ini jugalah awal kehidupan remajaku akan semakin menantang.
Orang bilang Surabaya adalah Kota Pahlawan. Dan aku akan menjadi pahlawan-pahlawan itu, pahlawan bagi keluarga, adik dan orang tua; bagi teman-temanku, dan bagi orang-orang terkasih. Kota ini memberikanku sedikit banyak hal yang harus aku perjuangkan dan aku korbankan. Kota ini dimana lembaran kehidupanku dimulai.
Kehidupan ini tidaklah selalu berjalan mulus. Kehidupan ini penuh dengan jatuh bangun. Kadang kala kita akan merasa sedih. Kadang kala kita akan merasa terbuang dan dicampakkan. Namun terkadang kita akan terangkat tinggi melambung diatas langit bersama para bintang dan rembulan yang bersinar terang menyinari kegelapan dunia.
Marilah kita gunakan tahun yang baru ini untuk bersyukur dan berjuang. Gunakan tahun ini untuk menciptakan sesuatu yang lebih berharga dan penuh kesukacitaan.
Aku tak akan banyak meminta pada Tuhan, karena aku bersyukur atas nafas kehidupan yang telah Ia karuniakan untukku hingga saat ini. Aku akan berjuang lebih baik untuk kelulusanku di Ujian Nasional mendatang. Aku akan berjuang lebih keras untuk berjaya di Perguruan Tinggiku kelak. Aku akan berjuang lebih baik lagi agar orang tuaku bangga terhadapku. Ya, aku bertekad untuk berjuang!

Selamat tahun baru 2015! Happy New Year 2015! Xin nian kuai le!

Unlikeliness

It is like dreaming a great life, a great future, a miraculous thing, that will never happen.
Things aren't running well as what we expected.
Future is an unpredictable thing that keep going without endings.
And that's why I keep on daydreaming.
Keep thinking for a better future.
Keep imagining beautiful thing that is unlikely to happen.
Girls are like princesses who live in a candy land.
We love fairy tales.
We love being taken to a romantic places with romantic things.
We love a romantic man.
We love the one who truly loves us.
"Will you marry me?", maybe is the prettiest sentences in the world.
"I will marry you one day.", is the best promise a man could make.
"I am totally serious in this relationship. I am not going to play with love. I am the one who will marry you. The one who will give you a ring and put it on your fingers one day. The one who will call you as my wife. The one who will live with you forever. The one who will help you to take care of our children one day. Until we get old and death separate us. Because nothing in this world which is stronger than our love that have the strengths to separate us."
Such a beautiful thing I could ever imagine. Perhaps a man will say that sweet words to me, prove it true, and have such a great life as what I keep on imagining. Even though it seems like just a fairy tale, just a dream, just an imaginary, I hope one day it comes true. Because dream of a beautiful life is like dreaming of a great career, so I am sure it is likely to happen one day!

"Keep dreaming, but don't ever forget to reach your dream!" - @ViDarmalim

I don't care about anything else except loving you!

People may believe love at the first sight

But I fall in love with him every time I see him

People may say love is blind

But I believe my eyes looked at him,

and so does him

People may say love is crazy

But I guarantee, I am crazier when I am with him

There are million even billion men outside

There are thousands loves spread among this world

There are hundreds people know me longer than him

But there is only him who loves me with his truly heart

I might fall for times

I might hurt for times

I might drop my tears for uncounted times

Heart may be bruised

And now be healed because of his attendance in my life

He may not be perfect

He may not always be a great man

That I can always be proud of

He may not a genius guy

Or even a popular man at school or even the society

But what else I could do?

If my heart has chosen him

Him, the man who stand by me

The man who stay with me in every situations

The man who holds my hand when I'm afraid

The man who hugs me when I need warmth

The man who take care of me when I was ill

The man who loves me, now, and forever

No matter how hard I tried

How long I force myself

To dismiss this feeling away

To disobey him

To not recon what my heart was trying to say

I was totally failed

The more I try,

The more I hurt

I just can't remove this feeling

That I really love him

Like the way he loves me

I am so grateful that I realized 

He has the same feeling as mine

And even deeper than mine

No matter how many times I asked him to go away from my life

No matter how many times I've hurt him

No matter how many times his tears drops because of me

He never stops loving me

I realized that I could get any further from him

I realized that he is so serious with everything he said

I don't know what I can do to pay back what he has done for me

For everything he sacrifices for me

I just can love him more than I can say

Because this feeling can't hold on anymore

And every nights I spent

Are the best dream ever

We keeps on imagining how our future will be

That I never think so far there

But with him, everything seems real

And each morning I gets up

Are the best beginning of life ever

I never stop fall in love again and again with him

Because the love he gives to me will never stop

And show that love is true 

He is just more than enough for me

To be the helper in every problems I have

To cherish me in every situations

To wipe my tears when I am crying

He is my eyes, to see our future

He is my ears, to hear our children' laughter

He is my hands, to hold our children hands

He is my legs, to stand proudly when we are one

I just love him, more than anything else.

I am totally in love with you, my dear

I am totally afraid of losing you, my boy

I want you to be here, my darling

I want you to promise me, my only one

To always be mine, forever.

Because you are the only thing I need

Thank heaven to send an angel to take care of me like him

"You may fall in love in a different way, or in a different period. But when you really fall in love with the one you really love, they don't ask how faithful you'll be, but you will automatically be faithful and be loyal to them." - @ViDarmalim

Pantai Sejuta Kenangan

Angin berhembus kencang menemani malam
Awan biru kini berubah menjadi kelam
Kini yang tersisa hanyalah
Suara ombak yang deras
Dan bulan bulat temani malam gelap

Aku memandang kearah laut
Tak henti hentinya aku memandanginya
Ku ratapinya seorang diri
Tanpa ada lagi  yang menemani

Seketika aku teringat
Pancaran bayangan wajahnya
Tat kala ia bersamaku
Yang selalu setia menemani hari-hari dan detik-detikku

Oh Tuhan
Mengapa begitu cepat kau ambil dia?
Dirinya yang aku cinta dan aku sayang
Mengapa tak kau biarkan kami memadu kasih ini
Sedikit lebih lama lagi

Di pantai lepas laut indah ini
Aku mengenang dirinya
Dan sejak malam ini sampai selamanya
Kan selalu ku kenang dirinya